A Brew Ha-Ha

Important News: Pabst Brewing Company is taking MillerCoors to court claiming that company is threatening its survival by refusing to brew Pabst’s beers.

Important question: Is MillerCoors trying to do Americans a huge favor by not brewing Pabst’s products?

Think about it: Why do we have a Pabst Brewing Company that in fact does not brew any of its own beers? Why couldn’t it be called the Pabst Quiltmakers Guild, or maybe Pabst anything else?

No seriously, think about it: When it comes to bottom feeders, that’s where you’ll find Pabst. The Pabst lineup of what we’ll charitably call beers includes in addition to Pabst Blue Ribbon the brands Old Milwaukee and Lone Star. What an unholy (and mostly undrinkable) trio of crappy brands. They are, in fact, even lower on the scale of tolerable that what you’ll get from MillerCoors (think Miller and Coors).

Did you know: There was once concern that if horses had to relieve themselves in cans and bottles the results would taste like Pabst beers, but …. oh, wait a minute, I’m being told that IS how they are produced. And whole lawsuit may have to do with who owns the horses.

History lesson: I used to drink Pabst (and Miller, for that matter) when I was a kid. That was back when Izzard Charles was heavyweight boxing champion (remember him?) and teenagers didn’t care what a beer tasted like, only that it was cheap. It was cheaper than Budweiser, which shows you just how incredibly low the bar was way back when. And Budweiser owned it’s horses, if you know what I mean….

The solution: If Pabst’s beers and MillerCoors were to go down the sewer together, no beer drinkers would be the worse off. But if its just Pabst, then we’re cutting the sewer a small break.