How much do we really know and understand about President Donald Trump? Here’s a quick quiz to help you figure that out. (Answers below)
Question 1: What makes Donald Trump laugh?
A. Imagining Sloppy Steve Bannon naked.
B. Imagining Mitch McConnell naked.
C. Imagining Stephen Miller naked.
D. All of the above.
Question 2: How do we know Donald Trump is a stable genius?
A. Because he says so.
B. Because he is “really, like smart.”
C. Because Stephen Miller says he is.
D. None of the above.
Question 3: What really motivates Donald Trump?
Question 4: What principles guide Donald Trump’s foreign policies?
A. What do you mean “principles?”
B. Mexico will pay for it.
C. Make America Great Again.
D. Most of them are rapists and bad guys.
Question 5: Why do Donald Trump and his wife Melania sleep in two beds at the White House?
A. Because there aren’t three beds.
B. Because he gets cheeseburger crumbs in his bed.
C. Because she hasn’t slept since election night.
D. Because he has small hands.
Question 6: Why does Donald Trump play so much golf?
A. Because he’s the only one who keeps score.
B. Because who doesn’t like an occasional day off from work?
C. Because those golf carts are so much fun.
D. It gets him out of the White House.
Question 7: Who are Donald Trump’s favorite people?
A. Vladimir Putin
B. Anybody Putin says he should like.
Michael Flynn. Paul Manafort. George Papadopoulos. James Comey. Sean Spicer. Steve Bannon. Oh hell, just skip this one.
Question 8: What health issues does Donald Trump have?
D. At least all of the above.
Question 9: How wealthy is Donald Trump?
A. We don’t really know because he keeps his income taxes secret.
B. If you don’t count the bankrupt casinos?
C. If you don’t count the money-losing golf resorts?
D. Not nearly as much as he says.
Question 10: How old Donald Trump?
A. Not too bad, thanks.
B. That’s a terrible old Joke.
C. I know.
D. It’s still sort of funny, though.
1. D. (duh)
3. A, B, C, D or possibly E (pizza you can eat with a fork?)
5. D perhaps.
6. A, B, C, D.
10. Wait, I’m still laughing.