Even for a political party that tacitly or indirectly supports the wants of wealthy, aging white men over the needs of minorities, women, the poor and just about everyone in the “middle class,” the Republicans have a really dumb cast of presidential wannabes for 2016. Seriously. Given that the GOP wants to re-capture the White House in two more years, the bizarre assortment of characters who aspire to the party’s nomination suggest a parallel universe peopled with wackos, misfits and — I’m not kidding — yet another Bush.

Let’s take a (mercifully) brief look:

CHRIS CHRISTIE — The governor of New Jersey lost his mojo when the bridge scandal showed him up as a mean-spirited, disloyal, smart-ass bully. Given that that seems to describe his personality, it’s hard to believe he won’t step in more deep poo between now and 2016. Watching him twist and twirl to appeal to the Tea Party crazies will be fun.

TED CRUZ — Speaking of Tea Party crazies, here’s the Prince of Wackos, a Texas senator who’s dedicated to destroying much of what makes America function with irrational, obstructionalist, anti-Constitutional rants. Which is, of course, precisely why the extreme right wing of the GOP adores him.

RAND PAUL — The Libertarian-leaning senator from Kentucky, who’s mostly in favor of giving up America’s international commitments, will attract a huge majority of Libertarian voters. That means that in the Republican primaries, he’ll finish somewhere around fifth place.

JEB BUSH — Seriously? Surely Republicans would agree we’ve had enough of the Bushes. Three strikes (Bushes) and you’re out. Jeb has been away from politics for seven years, and he’s probably a bit of a brighter bulb than George W., which are the best things about him I can think of.

MARCO RUBIO — He’ll certainly have an appeal to Hispanics, at least until they realize that the rest of the Republican Party doesn’t. Rubio is no dummy or fraud (see Ted Cruz), but it seems doubtful he can muster enough votes from the GOP’s base to win a primary.

PAUL RYAN — He was an unsuccessful vice presidential candidate in 2012 (and running with Mitt Romney, who expected anything else?). Ryan’s intellectual chops are compromised by the vacuity of his financial ideas, but he remains attractive in a who-else-is-around sort of way to Republican establishment members.

There are a few others who seem interested, like Rick Perry, Rick Santorum, Bobby Jindal and — dare we speak it aloud? — Newt Gingrich. My goodness, even Sarah Palin might be daft enough to run. Whatever happens, it will be fun for sure, and definitely bad for the great majority of people in this country. For sure.