We think we’ve finally found the truth. No, not that truth, the REAL truth, the one that the truthful people really believe is true. It goes like this, and we can prove it:

There is a group of people who believe we are secretly governed by a cabal that practices satanism and pedophilia and which is headed by none other than Donald Trump. Yes, that’s right, Donald Trump. It’s group secretly known by their logo: AQON. When you think about it (which is never recommended) it becomes obvious.

We know Trump has spoken in desirous terms about his own daughter Ivanka. His own words not to mention his marital habits make clear his preference for much younger women. How much younger? That’s a secret, of course, known only to believers in AQON.

Satanism? How else can you explain Trump’s expressed notions that the coronavirus will simply “disappear?” Why would he tell people it isn’t necessary to wear masks? How could nearly 400,000 people die of the virus and yet be ignored by Trump? Satanism indeed is rampant here. AQON reigns.

And then take a gander how at his most fervent, misguided and gullible believers — the ones who invaded the Capitol — are exactly the kind of people satan really prefers. The more misguided and gullible the better. The perfect agents for the AQON legacy of Donald Trump.

So, it just has to be true. It sounds true. Because there’s just one kind of truth, and that’s the one we believe in. Truthfully.

So, stay truthful, my friends. And remember: it’s the only way. Unless there’s another way.