I’m beginning to think the healthiest thing I could do for breakfast in the mornings is eat a pizza. Or maybe a watermelon. Or coffee only. Or … heck, just skip breakfast altogether.

The nation’s doctors and health surveyors don’t seem to agree on what constitutes a healthy breakfast, or indeed, whether or not you ought to be eating breakfast at all. The so-called nutrition studies over the last four or five decades are now shown to be largely false, based more on association than causation.

Coffee? Bad for you until it was shown to extend your life. Bacon? Bad for you until it turns out that we need some of that fat. Avoid butter? Not at the cost of using butter substitutes, which can hasten your demise. Eating a hearty breakfast every day. That’s the most important meal of the day, so you’d better not skip it — unless you do skip it because it doesn’t matter at all. At least eating lots of fruit is good for you. Except that all that sugar, even naturally infused, can lead to health issues.

Dammed if you do, dammed if you don’t, and dammed if you can’t find any reliable nutritional advice. That’s me. Trying to follow one reasonable-sounding diet one day only to be told the next that it’s wrong. And don’t think you can fix things by taking vitamins; surely everyone knows by now that’s not a panacea and can actually cause some harm.

And now I’m starting to feel tired. And hungry. I want to eat well, do the right thing, stay healthy as long as I can. But there is no — repeat, NO — food counsel anywhere out there (internet, etc.) you can depend on. Everything now must be taken with skepticism, albeit “healthy” skepticism.

Just about the only suggestions I can find that make some sense tell us that moderation is the key. Eat red meat. Drink coffee. Gobble bacon. Enjoy cheese. But do it in moderation, a perfectly reasonable sounding term that could possibly mean something different to you than it does for me. (For instance, I think four strips of crispy bacon with my eggs and home fries is just enough. You, on the other hand, might somehow feel that is excessive. Perhaps we are both correct. And on the other, other hand, I’m fine with a single glass of wine at dinner, whereas you may believe that three martinis is a genuine necessity.).

So with all this conflicting information, I don’t know where to go, other than to head for the refrigerator. And I can’t explain why I keep reading the latest demolishing of long-cherished nutritional principles — except that if I need to find a good excuse for tearing into that chocolate milkshake, I’m happy to know somewhere, somehow, I can find something assuring me it’s the best possible thing I could do.

Thank goodness for science.

Oh, and by the way, this is Day 46 since Donald Trump’s nomination that he has refused to release his income tax returns. And he has never bothered to give us his medical history either. What could this incompetent narcissist be hiding?